“Yes, Just One More Minute” by Amanda Morris
Are you a parent going through the Terrible Twos? Did you live through them and survive? Terrible Twosdays is a place to commiserate over the unending shenanigans of your Darling Children (as the online parenting communities say). Nonfiction stories will be considered, so long as names have been changed to protect the guilty. Inspired by our best-selling gift book for parents, Go the Fuck to Sleep, Terrible Twosdays joins the roster of our other online short fiction series. Unlike Mondays Are Murder and Thursdaze, we’re looking for stories with a light and mischievous feel, all about the day-to-day challenges of parenting. As with our other flash fiction series, stories must not exceed 750 words.
This week, Amanda Morris just needs a little more time.
7:30am, Okay; coffee, laundry, then walk.
“Maaa! Sissy pooped.”
“Okay, be right there.”
“She’s taking off her diaper!”
“Okay, I’m coming.”
When did Jackson grow out of diapers? At two? This girl is killing me.
“Hold still, come here, hold on girl.”
“What honey? I can’t hear you. I’m not sure honey. No, I don’t know. Yes, I’m watching you. Okay, give me one minute.”
“Can I have some water?”
“Yes, let me just grab my coffee first.”
“Jackson, what’s wrong? Why is she crying?”
“I didn’t hit her!”
“What are you talking about?”
“It’s okay Lily, Jackson say you’re sorry.”
“Can you share with her please?”
“Yes mom, Sissy come on.”
Squeal, laugh, running.
Oh, I love when they play together. Her laugh is the best. He really is a sweet brother.
“Mom, the TV is freezing.”
“Okay, let me just grab my coffee, I’ll be right there.”
I really need to get the internet fixed. I’ll put that on his list.
We need to get on a better diet. I think I’ll try that zucchini pasta and gluten free bread. Where did that recipe go?
“Okay, just a minute.”
“Jackson can you watch your sister for 5 minutes while I get my coffee and find a recipe?”
“Jackson, why are you crying? What’s wrong?”
“Her hit me.”
“Liliana, that’s not nice, gentle please.”
Squeal, laugh, running.
Okay; recipe, laundry, walk. Is it garbage day? I wonder who the new neighbor is? How does she look so good? She probably doesn’t have kids, or a job. I’m sure she’s a bitch. She probably has white furniture. We could do white furniture. Maybe in a year when Lily is two.
“Mom, Sissy is getting out.”
“Can you shut the gate please?”
“No, she’s pushing me.”
“Okay, I’m coming.”
I really need to get a better gate. Maybe tomorrow.
“Okay; gate’s shut, I’ll be right back, just let me grab my coffee.”
“Jackson, I said stop swording her.”
“But she sworded me first.”
Heavy sigh. 10:30am, Okay; coffee, recipe, laundry,walk.
“Mommy is going to drink her coffee and look at her magazine for 5 minutes okay.”
I love Pottery Barn. Maybe I should do a white theme kids room. I love those bunk beds.
Seriously? $100 for sheets? They would be cute. Maybe in the spring.
But what if we have another baby. Should I do bunk beds? The baby would be in our room. It would be nice to have a baby again. What if I have twins? They say you have a better chance with age.
Maybe we could move the storage out of Jackson’s room, have him share with Lily then we could put the baby in Lily’s room.
But that’s where we were going to try and put the foreign exchange student. God we could use that money.
What if I’m too old for another baby? I knew I shouldn’t have waited. Maybe…..
“Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!”
“What? What Jackson? What?”
“Sissy is pooping.”
“Okay, hang on. Damn it! I told you not to leave Legos on the floor.”
“Can we go to the park?”
“Yes, in a few minutes.”
“But I want to go now!”
“Okay, let’s work on patience. What does Daniel Tiger say about patience? Just let me change your sister and find my recipe real quick.”
Ugh. Okay; 11:30am, I’ll just do laundry tomorrow.
“Are we going now?”
“In a minute.”
“Oh shit, why is this all wet?”
“Sissy spilled my water.”
“Why is your water down here?”
“Because it is.”
“We will go to the park in 5 minutes. Let me add drink lids to my shopping list.”
Where did that list go? Oh, let me find that recipe. Paleo, paleo, where are you…
We really need to go organic. Where is that article about Trader Joe’s? Maybe I could start making paleo desserts and no frozen food. That would be a good start.
“Mom, can I have the burritos for lunch?”
“Yes Jackson, I have some in the freezer.”
Shoot, I really need to get better food. Maybe I could get those snack packs from Pottery Barn, those are so cute. They would be good for the jogger. I need to look on Craig’s List for a BOB. I could really use a new stroller. I think I would run more. We need to be better at exercising.
“Where did my coffee go?”
DR. AMANDA MORRIS is a psychotherapist and maintains a general practice in San Diego, CA. After years of academic writing, Amanda is actively working on submitting her children’s books for publishing. Her writing primarily explores social and relatable topics, interwoven with fun in the traditional sense of children’s literature. In her not so spare time, you can find her obsessing over her children, practicing Bikram yoga, and CrossFitting with her husband.
Do you have a story you’d like us to consider for online publication in the Terrible Twosdays flash fiction series? Here are the submission terms and guidelines:
—We are not offering payment, and are asking for first digital rights. The rights to the story revert to the author immediately upon publication.
—Your story should focus on the challenges of parenting. Ideally, stories should be about children aged 0 to 5, but any age (up to early teens) is acceptable. Stories may be fiction or nonfiction.
—Include the child’s age at the time of the story next to your byline.
—Your story should not exceed 750 words.
—E-mail your submission [email protected] paste the story into the body of the email, and also attach it as a PDF file.
Posted: Oct 6, 2015
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