“Inspiration” by C. Mundie
Are you a parent going through the Terrible Twos? Did you live through them and survive? Terrible Twosdays is a place to commiserate over the unending shenanigans of your Darling Children (as the online parenting communities say). Nonfiction stories will be considered, so long as names have been changed to protect the guilty. Inspired by our best-selling gift book for parents, Go the Fuck to Sleep, Terrible Twosdays joins the roster of our other online short fiction series. Unlike Mondays Are Murder and Thursdaze, we’re looking for stories with a light and mischievous feel, all about the day-to-day challenges of parenting. As with our other flash fiction series, stories must not exceed 750 words.
This week, C. Mundie brings us a father-son role reversal.
“Will you stop swearing?” yelled the father.
“What the hell?” yelled back the grown son. “I’m pissed, of course I’m gonna swear!”
“It’s not like I took a dump in your cereal, damn it. It’s just—”
“It’s just?” interrupted the son. “Dad, you rear-ended my car! And in a Secretary of State parking lot! Were you trying to look like a donkey’s ass?”
“It can be buffed out.”
“It’s in the junkyard! The only buffing that’s gonna happen is your ass after I kick it.”
“I’ll get it back. Keep your skirt on,” said the dad, trying and failing to ease his son’s frustration and anger.
“Why in the happy hell would I want it back? It can’t even take in gas anymore!”
“I said the same about your ass,” replied the son prior to a heavy sigh. “All right . . . look, just pay me for the damages, and we’ll call it good.”
“Yeah, I’m not paying you,” responded the dad immediately.
“Don’t listen to yourself,” said the stern son.
“Your car, your problem. Welcome to the real world. Sucks, huh?”
“What the hell is this? If you were in my shoes, you’d totally bitch me out for repayment.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not you. So there.”
“Gimme my money, Dad!”
“Nah, you’re on your own,” said the father confidently, thinking he could get away with his mistake.
The son cracked his knuckles.
C. MUNDIE is the writer of the humorous paperback, e-book, and audiobook The Jerk, a socio-communicative commentary on American society. He became a published author at the age of twenty, and aims to write diverse genres of books. His next tale is the in-edit sci-fi adventure Paths: The Three.
Do you have a story you’d like us to consider for online publication in the Terrible Twosdays flash fiction series? Here are the submission terms and guidelines:
—We are not offering payment, and are asking for first digital rights. The rights to the story revert to the author immediately upon publication.
—Your story should focus on the challenges of parenting. Ideally, stories should be about children aged 0 to 5, but any age (up to early teens) is acceptable. Stories may be fiction or nonfiction.
—Include the child’s age at the time of the story next to your byline.
—Your story should not exceed 750 words.
—E-mail your submission [email protected] paste the story into the body of the email, and also attach it as a PDF file.
Posted: Nov 11, 2014
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